BENDTNER FROTTING A TAXI
frotting
Rubbing one's crotch against unexpecting people, furniture or walls.
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Let’s start with a disclaimer - pulling your pants down and rubbing yourself against a taxi probably doesn’t count as ‘frotting’. However, it was the first word that came to mind when news broke of Nicklas Bendtner’s boozy encounter with a Copenhagen cabbie in March 2014.
“He stood and rubbed himself against the side window with his trousers unbuttoned, while he whipped the car with his belt and shouted that he wanted to fuck me,” the driver told the Danish publication BT.
“I have encountered drunks and alcoholics in Copenhagen for over 25 years, but I’ve never experienced anything like that.”
While the taxi company chose not to report the episode to the police because “it is not an actual assault, but 'just' a passenger who has behaved like an idiot”, the fact the episode made headlines caused Bendtner plenty of headaches when he returned to London.
For one, he wasn’t supposed to be in Copenhagen. Let alone on the piss while his teammates were exiting the Champions League at the hands of Bayern Munich.
“Honestly, I don’t know what happened,” Arsene Wenger told a press conference a couple of days later.
“I haven’t spoken to him. The only thing that is for sure, he had nothing to do in Copenhagen. Nobody gave him any permission to go to Copenhagen. He will be fined for that. For the rest, has he created some trouble? I don’t know. I will speak to him today.”
In truth, it was difficult for Bendtner to harm his standing at the Emirates by this point. While he scored a couple of important goals against Hull and Cardiff earlier in the 2013/14 campaign, an injury sustained after the latter had once again left him on the periphery of Wenger’s squad. He also knew he’d become a free agent when the season ended.
All the same, having recovered some goodwill it was typical of ‘Lord Bendtner’ - so known because of a relationship with a Danish baroness - to set fire to things again.
Taxi-gate was just one of several incidents that earned him a reputation as a bit of a liability during his nine years at Arsenal. In 2009, hours after Arsenal had lost to Manchester United, he was photographed falling out of South Kensington nightclub Boujis with his trousers around his ankles.
Sent on loan to Sunderland in 2011, he was arrested with teammate Lee Cattermole for smashing up cars in Newcastle city centre. His season at Juventus was mired by a drink drive charge while he was sidelined by injury. Back in London, he was arrested in 2013 for trying to smash a locked door hindering his access to the gym at his apartment block. He also earned a speeding fine after being clocked at 166 km/h near Newcastle Airport.
Even when he was on the pitch, the Dane couldn’t stay out of trouble. Celebrating a goal for Denmark at Euro 2012, he flashed boxer shorts sporting the name of bookmaker Paddy Power which earned himself a one-game ban and an £80,000 fine. On the domestic front, he also had a well-publicised spat with teammate Emmanuel Adebayor. As he revealed in his autobiography ‘Both Sides’, the Togo striker was one of many teammates who felt Bendtner’s wrath.
The thing is, Bendtner was a very good footballer and you suspect had he not suffered a groin injury in a car crash on his way to training in 2009, things might have been a bit different for him.
The full extent of the injury wasn’t immediately apparent. Certainly, the player couldn’t have known he was facing surgery when he declared to The Guardian: "Within five years I want to be the top scorer in the Premier League and I want to be known as a world-class striker. And it will happen. Trust me, it will happen. I look around at other players, I see my own ability and I can't see anything that tells me it won't happen. I'm sure people will think 'What is he talking about?' But as I have done before, and as I will do again, I will sit at the other end and laugh at those people when it is all done."
Ten days later he went under the knife and was sidelined for a couple of months. A setback the following summer was particularly hard for him to swallow. "I don't know where I am in relation to playing football,” he said. “It doesn't feel good at all - some mornings I can hardly get out of bed.”
After spending a lot of time on the bench in 2010/11, it was agreed he needed to play more regularly, hence the move to Sunderland. While he did pretty well at the Stadium of Light, reuniting with Steve Bruce who’d had him on loan at Birmingham City as a teenager, it did feel a bit like Bendtner was out of sight, out of mind. Indeed, with a year at Juventus following, he only made 14 more appearances for the Gunners.
While he never lived up to his own expectations, Bendtner’s 47 goals and 22 assists in 171 appearances for Arsenal is nothing to be sniffed at. And in the eyes of most Gooners, he’ll forever be that young lad who came off the bench against Sp*rs to win the North London derby with his first touch.
